Every year I go to a wedding photography conference down in Mystic CT. I’ve been going for the past 6 years now, and every time I go I find something new to take away from it. Walter Van Dusen does a fantastic job hand picking speakers that are not only brilliant photographers, but amazing story tellers, teachers, and endorsers of pushing our work to it’s limits.
Each time, I return to NY with a jumble of emotions and a brain buzzing with ideas! I always feel like I’m going to conquer the photographic world, only to find that in a few short weeks to have forgotten that feeling and gone back to shooting what is safe. Now, safe isn’t a bad thing. I create lovely pictures for my clients and I know that they love them. I really have been blessed with you all! But for myself, as an artist, I don’t want to be safe. I don’t want the tension in my gut to go away this time. I want to question why I shoot the way I do, why I run my business the way I do, why do I see the way I do. Sure I can take pretty pictures, get on wedding blogs, maybe even win some awards (if I tried), but what is it all for? Why am I doing this? The answer for me is to bring God glory! He spoke very clearly to me back when I was just getting my feet wet in the photographic world. He said, “Show my children how beautiful they are…show them how I see them.” Back then I only understood a small fragment of that command. I still only understand a small fragment of it…but I feel as though I’m on the verge of seeing past what is right in front of me into something deeper.
I’m not sure what this all means yet. I know that I am, in more ways than one, at a crossroads. There is going to be a lot of soul searching, a lot of changes, and no doubt a lot of tears. Going from good to better isn’t easy. Change is ugly and painful, but when the dust settles I’m sure that the result will be a beautiful one. Thank you for taking this journey with me. I can’t guarantee that I’ll make a habit of blogging more personal posts, but I can guarantee that when something officially changes…you’ll be the first to know.